Want to be more attractive? Here’s how…

Spoiler alert this blog has nothing to do with your looks, and everything to do with you behaviour and personality! Becoming more attractive starts from within.

Feeling attractive and desirable is a universal driver for the vast majority of the humans (whether you admit it or not). There’s nothing wrong in taking pride in your appearance or wanting to be liked. Whilst physical appearance is important, behaviours and mindsets arguably play a larger role in attraction. The article includes both scientific and anecdotal findings to highlight areas that improve your attractiveness in others.

DON’T TAKE LIFE TOO SERIOUSLY (not attractive)

We all experience stress and tough times. Redefining your response to these can have an impact on how you’re perceived by others. Learning how to manage stress and stressful situations will help you overcome and resolve potential issues quicker. Avoid becoming paralysed by stress. Instead systematically construct a plan of how you may overcome such issues, focusing on individual tasks as opposed to the whole problem. Try to stay calm and collected, take deep breaths and allow yourself to reset, then begin your approach to unpicking stressors sent your way. This is very important for longer term health. Particularly cardiovascular and mental health. A study in 2013 found that where men had lower levels of cortisol (the stress hormone) and stronger immune system, possibly because of less stress or their ability to interpret stressors. That women were more likely to find them attractive. Nutrition & exercise can considerably improve your response to stress.

Here’s a few pointers to help keep your stress levels down:

• Eat well balanced meals. High in protein and fibre. These can help keep fuller for longer, reducing hunger pangs
• Avoid too much simple sugar. Like sweets, chocolate, biscuits, cakes, ice creams etc. Instead choose starchy complex carbohydrates like rolled oats, sweet potatoes & unripe bananas. These prevent blood sugars from spiking. “What goes up must come down.” Blood sugars crashing can leave you feeling moody, tired and lethargic.
• Whole foods are king! Consume foods that are minimally processed. It’s all about limitation not restriction. ideally around 80% of diet comes from wholesome original sources like lean meats, nuts, seeds, grains, fruits and vegetables. Leaving 20% of your diet for those less optimal options, like the odd beer, glass of wine, pastry or chocolate bar.

In addition to damaging stress, try to become more playful and lighthearted. Be open to the idea of poking fun at yourself. None of us (with the exception of James Bond, or Wonder Women) have 100% charisma or suaveness. Whether we project it or not we all contain an “inner geek.” It’s ok show that side, favourable even. Try it if you’re a little uptight and experience liberation. Allowing yourself to be playful and a little silly can relax people around you, no need to go overboard but don’t be scared to be you in all your glorious imperfect greatness.

BE KINDER

“What is good is beautiful “(Dion et al. 1972). Beauty comes from within. Undeniably we all have an initial intrinsic reaction of excitement when we physically see an “attractive person.” However, this initial response isn’t everlasting. Many other factors (like kindness) can impact the strength of the innate initial attraction to another person. In short you may look great but attraction will likely diminish in others if your kindness levels are low. A study from china found that sociably favourable personality traits (like kindness) can improve your attractiveness in others.

Kindness is a purposeful behaviour that we can all learn and improve upon. It’s different from being “nice.” Being nice requires minimal effort. Whereas kindness involves intentional selfless actions. Such as being thoughtful, conscientious, showing empathy and listening (not just hearing). The list is extensive and you can choose a whole array of how you wish to display kindness. Irrespective of your kindness act, its essential to be sincere.

HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOUR – TOP ATTRACTIVE TRAIT*

Similarly to not taking life too seriously. Having a sense of humour can be a huge turn on for both men and women. A small study* in 2015 found that women were drawn to men that seemed funny and witty. However trying to make people laugh can be turn off, particularly for men, it is claimed. Avoid forced humour, be yourself and aim to tap in to moments of potential humour. Acting disproportionately funny indicates nervousness and insecurity, which generally is a turn off for many people. Mastering humour is a certainly a skill, and like all skills it requires practice. Don’t be put off if you get it wrong from time to time. Just remember to be relaxed, ebullient and pay attention to potential moments of humour. This attractive skill will pay off!

Regular exercise and nutrition can have an impact on your mood, energy levels, and cognitive ability. Whilst good health may not directly make you funnier. Feeling great, more confident and cognitive ability increases when your fit and well. This can certainly up the likelihood that you’ll want to engage in humorous, lighthearted behaviours.

Here are some tips to help:

• Eat oily fish – A recent study in 2017 found that people with increased blood flow in the brain had higher levels of omega 3. The study also found omega 3 (found in oily fish like salmon, herring & sardines to name but a few) was linked to increased cognitive and thought processing abilities. Not every likes or consumes oily fish. If this is you supplementation may be very beneficial. Get your fish oils here. We only stock quality researched and verified products. Or for you fish lovers out there (like me) check out this easy tasty recipe we have.
• Eat dark chocolate – at least 70% cocoa (up to 15g per day). Many studies have found flavonoids contained in dark chocolate may improve better memory, learning ability and mood. Larger because flavonoids can stimulate brain blood flow and brain plasticity.
• Eat whole grains – if being funnier in your older age is important to you, then eating whole grains can help. Foods like oats, bulgar wheat and wholegrain pastas are good sources for vitamin E. whilst more research is needed some studies have found that optimal consumption of vitamin E may help to prevent cognitive decline.
• Get your sleep – between 7-10 hours per day is recommended, although some people may require more or less to function optimally. Being properly rested helps stabilise hormones which is important for many daily functions. Better mood, cognitive ability, heart health, immunity and weight control are all improved when we’ve adequately slept.

In short to become funnier; living healthier can help.

BE ORIGINAL

Don’t try and be something you’re not; be yourself. Forcing a behaviour is both transparent and unsustainable. Which will eventually lead to breakdown and misery. Particularly when it comes to confidence! Don’t try and fake confidence if you’re not. Yes confidence is attractive but faking it isn’t. Often people who fake confidence can come across as arrogant, ignorant, dismissive, overwhelming or disingenuous. Rather allow yourself to be vulnerable but in control of your emotions. It’s ok to be nervous. Practice managing your anxieties with slower breathing techniques, reduce overthinking and remain in the present. If you’re trying to attract someone and faking your confidence it may work short term but will almost certainly fail long term. If the person you’re trying to impress doesn’t like you for you, then are they really worth the effort? Be yourself you’re brilliant just as you are.

BUILD UP OTHERS 

Its tempting when meeting people you like to want to put your best foot forward quickly. This can result in an obvious try-hard to brag or “d*ck swing.” Don’t be lured into the temptation to sell yourself by listing all the amazing thing you do and are. Relax there’s plenty of time for people to unearth who you are in all you’re glory. It’s favourable that you remain a little mysterious. It can make you more interesting. Instead look to complement others first and foremost. Acknowledge the good in people around you and to whom you maybe talking about. Building others up sends the message that your self assured, considerate and able to accept your not the best thing since sliced bread. Being able to talk positively about others demonstrates you don’t have to seek their approval. You simply have a good time and don’t need external validation or reassurance to do so. Master this and others will be drawn to your positivity and up beat outlook on life. Attractive people are able to refrain from making everything about them.

SMILE

But do so sparingly. Walking around with a constant grin in order to “look nice” has the adverse affect. It can be interpreted as insecurity and nervousness.  Be confident enough not to smile, and use intentional moments to flash your gnashes. Giving away your smile all of the time devalues its meaning. People should know that when you smile, you mean it! According to a study in 2011 women smiling presented them as “more attractive” in the male population. However this was not true for men. It is thought that smiling is a demonstration of happiness with femininity. As result most heterosexual women seek masculinity in a partner and therefore smiling too much lowered the attraction levels.

To pack a better punch with your smile, dental hygiene is of paramount importance. It goes without saying that you should observe an effective and recommended daily healthcare routine to keep your gums and teeth looking their best. Outside of brushing, flossing and rinsing.

Here are some other ways to improve your smile:

• Avoid too much tea, coffee, wine and give up smoking.
• Nuts and seeds. These help slough off plaque and improve tooth enamel. Sesame seeds are high calcium which is needed for strong teeth and bones.
• Kiwis – Kiwis are high in vitamin C that promote healthier gums. Food high in vit c help the production of collagen; a primary structural protein found in your gums and skin.
• Vit A and Vit C – foods rich in these vitamins; like carrots, apples, mango, leafy greens, bell peppers, strawberries, tomatoes  eggs liver and milk (to name but a few) are all great for an optimal smile. Vitamin A helps you to absorb calcium, which helps you bones stay strong and healthy.
• Cheese – 30g per day is plenty. Calcium and Phosphorus rich cheese helps balance the PH in your mouth. Calcium also safeguards and restores tooth enamel. It also helps a healthy production of saliva, which destroys bacteria that cause gum disease and cavities.

TALK LESS, LISTEN MORE

Don’t go mute either, but when you in a conversation be sure to listen. And remember listening is different to hearing. Hearing doesn’t require thought or brain stimualtion. Sounds and noises are around us all day, we hear these but often they don’t register with our minds. Listening requires you to think. It’s obvious when you genuinely listen or if you are preoccupied / uninterested. a subtle way to demonstrate your listening is to how ask open ended questions in relation to their topic. Effective communication involves two way interaction of both talking and listening and is vital in healthy sustainable relationships.”Darwin suggested that sexual selection can favour people who are better at detecting and responding to signals.”

Comfortable silence indicates you sincerely want the other person to share information about themselves, which is a highly attractive behaviour. Being able to listen and respond accordingly demonstrates you are paying attention and therefore interested, this may enhance the attraction levels experienced in another person. Talking less also suggested you’re more likely to be self assured, confident, caring, considerate and supportive. All attractive personal traits.

BALANCE ASSERTIVENESS WITH PASSIVENESS

This can be a tough skill to get right. People tend to have a default mode they operate in when it comes to managing situations. If you’re generally a passive person, you’re likely to exaggerate this when meeting others. Not wanting to rock the boat and portray the easy going vibe. In contrast if you’re used to directing and organising you’re likely to want take full control to demonstrate your perceived strength in this area. The key is striking the right balance between control and passiveness. It starts by a mindful approach to your personal style. Be aware and consider the person you are wanting to be attracted to you. But avoid being too directive to a stifling and suppressive degree. Set an environment that allows you both to express yourself freely and comfortably. Demonstrate a level of dexterity that highlights your ability to know when to take lead and when to sit back. This helps people feel comfortable and secure in your presence.

BE DRIVEN. HAVE AN OPINION. IT’S ATTRACTIVE😍

You are a human being, an individual, a complete one-off. Celebrate your uniqueness and be true to your sense of self. Sacrificing your opinions and being agreeable to be “liked” will NOT work if attracting others is a goal. Learn to express your opinion without agitation or confrontation. Argumentative behaviours are also a turn off. Learn when and how to disagree. Sometimes it pays to let things slide, providing your not sacrificing your sense of self. When you feel strongly about something share it, you opinions and view points matter. It demonstrates vision, personality, courage and confidence. In the right dosages all very attractive behaviours.

A person who has vision and a drive to succeed can, as a result, inspire others. Positivity and feeling good is a by-product of inspiration. People often remember how you made them feel rather than what was said. If you can help people feel good as a result of your mindsets and behaviours you’ll find attraction follows suit.